Picture yourself five years from now— you having to take care of a person who is severely disabled, you can’t have children, you will have to pay their medical bills and take them to a doctor regularly, etc— are you willing to go through all this trouble?
Do you love this person so much? Will there be any positives in marrying this person with Huntington’s disease?
The fact that you have to seek other people’s perspective on this decision should begin to ring bells in your head. If you really loved this person unconditionally, you would feel no need to consult someone else. The special connection between you two would be enough to keep you together for the rest of your lives. Keep in mind that, Huntington’s disease is a progressive brain disorder, the patient will begin to show more intense symptoms as the disease progresses. If you think your loved one’s condition is manageable at this moment— think again— it is going to get worse, leaving you to deal with all the issues that they will face on a daily basis. You need to think this through. Being married does not only mean being together for the rest of your life but also means sharing responsibility with your partner.
Let’s look at a few more factors you need to consider before you marry a person with Huntington’s disease.
Huntington’s disease alters the mind, body, and emotions of the patient.
We often get attracted to people who hold high status in society, live their life with honesty and are physically fit. You might have made your decision to marry this person with Huntington’s disease despite them not having all the above three things in their repertoire. There must really be something unique in this person that nobody else has.
A person with Huntington’s disease starts showing noticeable symptoms in the early stages but they don’t interfere much with their day to day life. Once they are in the middle stages of the disease, that’s when everything starts falling apart and their relationships start to crumble.
It becomes difficult for a caregiver to carry on tolerating the drama created by the Huntington’s disease patient on a day to day basis. At some stage, they will need the help of a professional nurse, someone who is trained in handling people with cognitive decline and does it on a daily basis.
Are you okay with not having kids?
Every child you will have with this person will have a 50/50 chance of inheriting Huntington’s disease. Yes, it’s possible that none of your children will inherit Huntington’s disease, but the odds are less and it’s too risky. Why would want to bring a child into this world when you know their life is going to be filled with misery?
The only option left is to not have a child. An
Being alone after your partner’s death.
People with the defective gene usually die 15 to 20 years after onset. You probably will have very less time left with the person if you marry them now or in the near future. If you are exclusive to this person, after their death, you will have to spend your life alone.
Your social life will get severely affected if you marry a person with Huntington’s disease.
A large part of being married is spending time building relationships with your in-laws and other like-minded couples. By socializing with others, a married couple stays connected with society and builds collective self-esteem.
A Huntington’s disease patient in the mid and later stages of the disease requires assistance from their caregiver for performing day to day tasks. How do you think your friends are going to cope with your partner? No one wants to spend their time with a couple with one person fully dependent on the other.
Do they have an ulterior motive?
No one likes to be manipulated or being used by someone they trust and love. Although, if you step in the shoes of a Huntington’s disease patient, you will begin to see how difficult it is for them to do well in the modern dating world.
How are they suppose to find a life partner– in this superficial and materialistic world– who would love them for who they are?
They might use their miserable state as an advantage and manipulate a healthy person to fall in love with them. Such a thing won’t even occur to you if you are a mentally and emotionally healthy person but sickness does bring out the worst out of a human being— makes them act and think in immoral ways.
Positives in marrying someone you deeply love.
That being said, there are a few positives in marrying a person you deeply and unconditionally love.
Even if your partner has 10 more years to live, you are together and the time you spend will be remembered for the rest of your life.
In this materialistic world, you get a taste of what it is to do something truly wonderful and make a decision that is selfless and for the good of the others.
Instead of making your decision based on emotions, I want you to look at the facts.
Living with a Huntington’s disease patient is only going to get harder. Symptoms are going to get worse and medical bills will kill you.
But if you still decide to marry this person with Huntington’s disease, I would totally understand.