10 Common Phrases Used by Narcissists
Narcissists, those folks who think the world revolves around them, often reveal themselves through the words they use. In this article, we’ll dive into 10 common phrases used by narcissists, why they say these things, and, most importantly, how to handle these situations. So, let’s get started in understanding their language.
Here Are the 10 Common Phrases Used by Narcissists
Phrase 1: “It’s not my fault.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists hate taking responsibility. Admitting fault threatens their inflated self-image. Saying “It’s not my fault” is their way of dodging blame and preserving their self-importance.
What Makes Them Say It:
Fear of being seen as imperfect drives them to deflect blame onto others. They can’t handle the idea that they might make mistakes or have flaws.
How to Respond:
Stay calm and assertive. Point out facts without getting emotional. If possible, offer solutions or compromises instead of dwelling on blame.
Phrase 2: “You’re too sensitive.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists aim to invalidate your feelings. By labeling you as overly sensitive, they dismiss your emotions, avoiding any responsibility for their actions.
What Makes Them Say It:
They fear facing the emotional impact of their behavior. Labeling you as sensitive is a way to avoid addressing the real issue.
How to Respond:
Acknowledge your feelings and stand your ground. Express that everyone has different sensitivities, and it’s about respect, not sensitivity. Set boundaries calmly.
Phrase 3: “You never appreciate what I do for you.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists crave constant admiration. When they feel unappreciated, they use this phrase to manipulate others into showering them with praise.
What Makes Them Say It:
Their insatiable need for validation makes them hypersensitive to perceived slights. They can’t fathom not being the center of attention.
How to Respond:
Acknowledge their efforts if genuine, but set clear boundaries. Encourage mutual appreciation and communication. Be firm but fair about your expectations.
Phrase 4: “I told you so.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists crave being right. Saying “I told you so” is a way to assert dominance and highlight their supposed superior judgment.
What Makes Them Say It:
Insecurity drives them to constantly prove they know better than others. Admitting they might be wrong threatens their fragile self-esteem.
How to Respond:
Politely acknowledge their perspective but assert your own. Focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on who was right or wrong.
Phrase 5: “You’re lucky to have me.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists view themselves as the ultimate prize. By saying this, they attempt to make you feel dependent on them and boost their own self-worth.
What Makes Them Say It:
Deep-seated insecurities make them seek constant affirmation. They need to believe they are indispensable to maintain their self-esteem.
How to Respond:
Express gratitude for positive aspects but maintain your independence. Emphasize the importance of mutual respect and shared responsibilities.
Phrase 6: “You just want to make me look bad.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists fear losing face. Accusing others of trying to make them look bad shifts the focus away from their own shortcomings.
What Makes Them Say It:
Their intense need for admiration makes them hypersensitive to anything that may tarnish their image. They can’t handle criticism.
How to Respond:
Stay focused on facts and avoid personal attacks. Express your concerns without blaming and emphasize the importance of open communication.
Phrase 7: “Nobody understands me.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists feel a constant need for special treatment. Claiming nobody understands them reinforces their belief in their uniqueness.
What Makes Them Say It:
Deep-seated insecurities drive them to seek constant validation. They can’t handle the idea that others might not see them as extraordinary.
How to Respond:
Express empathy while maintaining healthy boundaries. Encourage open communication and mutual understanding. Validate their feelings without conceding to unrealistic demands.
Phrase 8: “You’re just jealous.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists deflect criticism by labeling it as jealousy. This tactic serves to dismiss valid concerns and avoid addressing their behavior.
What Makes Them Say It:
They can’t handle the idea of not being universally admired. Labeling others as jealous protects their fragile self-image.
How to Respond:
Stay focused on the issue at hand. Avoid getting defensive and calmly address the specific concerns. Emphasize the importance of constructive communication.
Phrase 9: “I don’t need anyone.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists want to appear self-sufficient and superior. Saying they don’t need anyone is a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability.
What Makes Them Say It:
Deep-seated insecurities drive them to project an image of invulnerability. They fear relying on others may expose their weaknesses.
How to Respond:
Encourage healthy interdependence. Express the value of mutual support and teamwork. Emphasize the strength found in genuine connections.
Phrase 10: “You’re trying to control me.”
Why They Say It:
Narcissists resist any form of perceived control. Accusing others of trying to control them is a tactic to maintain a sense of power.
What Makes Them Say It:
Their need for dominance makes them hypersensitive to anything that challenges their authority. They can’t tolerate feeling subordinate.
How to Respond:
Clarify your intentions and emphasize collaboration. Address concerns openly and express the importance of mutual respect. Avoid power struggles and focus on finding common ground.
Conclusion
Understanding the language of narcissists is the first step to dealing with their manipulative tactics. By recognizing these common phrases and learning how to respond, you can empower yourself to maintain healthy relationships and protect your well-being. Remember, setting boundaries and promoting open communication are key tools in navigating the challenging terrain of narcissistic interactions.
